Heading Into 59 With a Much Different Perspective

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In just a few short weeks (8 to be exact) I will be 59 years old. WHAT??? Well, that hurt a little to type out. But, I have to say that I am truly excited about it. I have never been one to be afraid of the number of candles on the cake, or to shy away from my age. I feel incredibly blessed with every passing year.

Have there been hard days? Yep! Have there been moments that I wish I could go back and change? OH YES! Has there been over the top excitement? You bet!

BUT, heading into 59 is hitting different. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t care about that number, but this past year (really the past few months) have been filled with Jesus moments and that makes everything else pale in comparison.

I did an amazing Bible study that really made me take a hard look at my commitment to the Lord and learning to prepare myself to hear His voice through the noise of life. BUT, the most moving, mind blowing, convicting thing is a video I watched on Youtube. “The SECRET of Psalm 23 That Will Change Your Life Forever” For me it has done just that. I have listened to it so many times.

To know that King David laid his crown down at the feet of the Shephard. To realize that sheep follow…they don’t lead. The fact that God has my back ALL the time, He is always there and He is always protecting His. His name is on me. It truly brought me to my knees.

I am not perfect, and never will be. My life has been messy at times. Stress, anxiety, depression, grief, self-doubt, anger, unforgiveness, jealousy at times have taken over my every thought. No peace. Thankfully God never gave up on me. When I finally chose to follow Him and give Him control…well…there is peace. Doesn’t mean things are easy. Doesn’t mean things are all rosy. But through everything there is His peace. He has my back.

So marching into 59 and looking forward to 60 I am more thankful. I want to know His plan and lay mine down. That is hard for me because I like lists, I like to have a plan, and I like control. If my kids read this, ignore that last sentence.

I highly recommend you find 25 minutes in your day and watch the video.

I Love You More Than Chocolate

Shannon

Restoring Reverend Dewey Phillips Homeplace

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Well, Chris and I did a thing!!! I have always loved the old white house in the curve of the road. I love the porch and the big tree in the front yard. I love the rock wall and the well house. Chris and I have said a million zillion times…”Sure wish we owned that jewel”. Well, now we do!!

My cousin called and said he was ready to sell the house and wanted me to list it for him. I told him nope. HAHAHAHAHA! Chris and I wanted to buy it. I think he was a little shocked and I hope thrilled all at the same time. I didn’t want some stranger owning it or someone tearing it down. It is a part of our community. It is a land mark for us. You know the kind…”go past Brother Dewey’s house” or “Do you know where Brother Dewey’s house is?” I can’t imagine driving past that spot and it not being there. Well, he agreed and we started immediately on restoring it. I had a GRAND idea of what I wanted to do and then reality set in as the quotes started to come in. Some things I wanted to do will have to wait, but I have a list and over time they will get done.

Demo day! Demo began and oh man! We ripped out sheet rock, ripped up floors, tore out the bathroom, and so much more. While they were tearing the sheetrock off the walls we discovered that in three rooms there was hand stamped wallpaper put directly on top of the shiplap walls. WHAT? Oh yes. Beautiful, HANDSTAMPED wallpaper.

We know that the house was built before 1900, just not sure the exact year the original house was built. As we progressed with the demo you could see where the original part of the house was. The 2 original rooms with a dogtrot between. The original stove pipe in what was the bedroom and the fireplace in what would have been the kitchen/living room. You could see where additions had been made, windows closed up, doorways moved, etc. I sat in the living room all by myself one day just wishing the walls could talk and tell me exactly what all had taken place in this beautiful old home.

Just a few of the stories I know. Like weddings taking place in the living room with Sallie Mae playing the piano as a something special for the couple, visits with neighbors, just good old fashioned loving on family and fiends. Oh, how that makes my heart explode. I miss the days of when we did that in our community and with family.

My biggest concern during this whole process was doing the home justice. I wanted my cousin to be proud of what we were doing with his grandparents home. I wanted everyone that had a memory of that house and Brother Dewey and Sister Sallie Mae to smile every time they see it and know that it will be here far beyond us.

Next is opening the well back up….I hope.

Here are a few before and after pictures and if you click this link you can walk through it yourself. Enjoy! https://my.matterport.com/show/?m=ih2YUxFVfYq

Love you more than chocolate,

Shannon

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Down the Rabbit Hole I Go

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When I needed to know anything, and I do mean most anything, I asked MawMaw. She was the wisest, most calm person I have ever known. We would walk through the woods and she would tell me how when she was little they would use black gum twigs for toothbrushes, and of course we would have to find a black gum, snap a twig, and walk and talk with our natural toothbrushes.

When I had my babies she encouraged be to follow my heart and my gut feeling when it came to my kids. She told me there was no one else that knew them better than me. Well, I broke a lot of doctors rules when it came to my kids. I gave Luke cereal at 4 weeks because he was a hungry baby! He loved it and slept through the night full and happy. I treated fevers with a bath instead of tylenol and let their bodies do what they were designed to do.

WELL, I have jumped into the more natural (what I call REAL) world of taking care of my daily health needs. Now, I’m not so crazy that if I break an arm I wouldn’t go to the doctor….of course I would. Geez people. My new favorite saying is “Convenience is killing us” and I believe it is. We have convinced ourselves that drive throughs, packaged snacks, and the newest pill is faster and better. It is not (in my opinion).

If you are so inclined to follow along, I am going to start sharing my passion. Herbs, tinctures, real food recipes, and everything that comes along with it. I find it fascinating.

Side note: I recently discovered that my GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT Grandfather was an herb doctor and farmer. I love that. Benjamin Cantrell was born in 1768 and died in 1846. I love finding out little tidbits of my family histories.

Currently I am studying about Yarrow. It is an herb that I will be adding to my garden this year. Let me share what I have discovered so far. Yarrow is a natural antiseptic. It is great for treating wounds in ointments and creams. Around here that would be very beneficial with these 5 grandbabies. You can take crushed yarrow root and sprinkle on an open cut to stop bleeding!! WHAT????

It has been used as a sedative for anxiety (it has adaptogen characteristics that help our bodies handle stress) and is said to be helpful in lowering blood pressure.

The National Library of Medicine and Mount Sinai have interesting information that outlines so many benefits. Of course there is always cautionary remarks but I have to say that it is much better than the warnings you hear on TV about all the quick fixes to every ailment we have.

Thanks for reading, now a cup of hot herb tea and a good book.

Love you more than chocolate,

Shannon

It Is a Process

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Update on my healthy lifestyle journey. It is definitely NOT an over night thing. Breaking old (and bad) habits is a process. Discipline is hard and for someone who is a little “fly by the seat of your pants” in certain areas of my life it is harder.

Some things I have learned so far are. I can not restrict EVERYTHING at one time. It is a process. The first thing I have focused on is adding water to my daily routine. Taking away my beloved Dr Pepper has been hard. I mean REALLY REALLLLLLY HARD. My goal every day is 64 Plus ounces of water. Some days I drink it without any problem. Other days it is a struggle. I have all the tricks down…add lemon or lime. I like lime best. Add Stur water enhancers! I love these. They do not have any synthetic dyes and they taste great. Huge win in my book. But overall I would say that I have conquered the dreaded addition of water to my daily routine. Now don’t get me wrong. I still have a Dr Pepper occasionally but honestly it is not very often.

I have been adding stretching daily. I have arthritis and a bad back. GEEEZZZZEEEE that was hard to type. It makes me sound like an old lady…I am only 58! Ok, deep breath and let’s move on. Flexibility is important. I have 5 grandchildren and my goal is to be able to keep up with them. I try to spend 20 minutes stretching every day. Again, some days it is easy peasy and others I realize I am in the bed and forgot. But feel like it is another win because most days I get it done. It is a process.

I have explored all the “diet” things. Low carb, fasting, points, counting calories, etc. This is where it gets sticky. I love to cook, I love to eat. I am southern and part of my DNA is to eat with “my people”. It’s a social thing. It is a love thing. Not necessarily the love OF food but cooking and sharing a meal brings people together and I am all about that. If you know me personal you get why this one is harder for me. So this one really is a PROCESS. Here are the to 3 things, for me personally, that have figured out.

  1. Protein is important. I was not eating nearly enough protein. Protein curbs cravings for me, even sugar cravings.

2. If I make something “off limits” my brain kicks into high gear and that “something” becomes all I think about. Does anyone else do this or is it just me? So, nothing is off limits. BUT, sometimes just one bite is all I really wanted.

3. Making meals is where I can control EVERYTHING. I love to cook but I hate the clean up. I would have a long day and just give in to going out to eat or ordering through the drive through. Not the best way to get healthy! Now, I make my grocery list either Saturday or Sunday, plan out what we want for the week and that makes it easier. I have tried meal prepping and I wish I were better at that. I love crockpot meals and I am working on a list of the ones that are easy and we love. Cooking doesn’t have to be hard or take all day. It is a process.

SO, this journey is all about changing one thing at a time. Not looking at what everyone else is doing but what works for me and my lifestyle. Giving my self some much needed grace and being thankful for the progress. In other words…It is a process.

Love your more than chocolate,

Shannon

Who Knew Water was so Important

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I have never been a water drinker. I am a coffee, tea, and Dr Pepper drinker. I love all three and water just never seemed to fit in.

When you read about health or weight loss the very first thing is DRINK WATER. UGH I have fought it with every fiber of my being. I have created every excuse and had multiple conversations with myself about drinking water. I have as so far as to “hide” a glass bottle Dr Pepper in the back of the fridge and used it to motivate myself to drink water all day and then partake in my delicious reward at the end of the day.

Yall, let me be real!!! You have to drink water!

On my new journey to a healthier me, I have discovered that if I drink my water (and its a lot) I have more energy, weight comes off, and I can move better. WHAT? Seriously??

I have been walking around in a state of dehydration, so to speak, for YEARS! I am learning to love water. I use a no sugar, no dye, no junky stuff water drops and a natural energy boost in at least two of the giant containers I drink in a day. Even my grandkids love the drops. Well, everyone except Cade. He just likes “real” water. I get them at Publix or Amazon. They are called Stur and my favorite is the coconut/pineapple.

I still start my day with a cup of coffee but now I move right to my first 32 ounces and keep going until I drink a hot tea or a cup of Gold in the evening. For me it is a huge jump forward.

Side note: Remember…this is about my journey. The things I am doing, changing, trying for my personal health. I am by no means a doctor!

Have a blessed and fun filled weekend….and drink your water.

Love You More Than Chocolate

Shannon

Here is What I Know About Arthritis

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Here is what I know about arthritis….IT STINKS!

I was told in an emergency room when I was about 34 years old that I had arthritis from the base of my skull to my tip of my tail bone and that was why I was in so much pain. Well, I did not appreciate that assessment at all. I was only 34 and arthritis is for old people. Right? Are you with me on this? It’s NOT.

A few years later I was back in the ER because I could not make my knees bend. It is as comical and horrible as it sounds. I was getting ready for church and my knees locked and I could not take a step. The pain was beyond horrible and I think I scared Chris, who by the way is use to my crazy and loves me anyway so he usually just says “what do you mean?” and is totally unphased. But not this morning thank goodness. The diagnosis? Arthritis UNDER my kneecaps. I have plenty of cushion but horrible arthritis.

In both instances they put my on arthritis meds. Totally not for me! I couldn’t take any that they prescribed, and we went through most of them. Made me sick and felt horrible. So the alternative was to just live with it. So, I live with it.

Now let me back up a minute and just say….I know plenty of people who have it much worse than I do and I really hate to complain because I see the pain they are in (even on meds) and it breaks my heart. But, this is my story, so let’s keep moving on.

I have managed it with over the counter pain meds, exercising, heat, ice, massage, crying, walking, more crying. You get the picture.

Let’s fast forward to a few months ago. Remember, I have been changing things for over a year in regards to medicines, toxins in my home and the things I use. A friend reached out to me about a new product she was using and said I really needed to try it. I trust Donna when it comes to health issues and value her opinion. Did I say she is a nurse? Well, she is. I gave it a try and HAVE MERCY!!!

When I started using this beautiful little drink I could not walk down stairs without turning sideways and inching down one step at a time. After just 2 weeks I was taking those stairs like a champ. It has made such a difference for me personally. If you want to know what it is I will gladly share, just reach out.

I want to be completely transparent when I share what I am doing and what I believe is helping me reach my health goals. I am experiencing days, weeks, even a month at a time without any pain, but as we all know arthritis doesn’t stay silent for long. I have had a couple of hard days too. I think that is just the nature of the beast. But I can deal with a few rough days as apposed to EVERY DAY.

I have also learned on this journey that moving is very important in helping with arthritis. The more you move the better you feel. Sounds a little crazy I know, but it seems to be true. I’m not so sure that it isn’t a mind thing too. I know when I sit and whine (I know you find it hard to believe that I would whine…LOL) and focus on how bad I feel, that I feel worse. When I push through and do the hard things anyway then I actually feel better, more motivated, and I am sure that those who are around be like being around me better.

Side note: I have one of those “cute” little knots on a joint on one of my fingers. I have been rubbing caster oil on it and it has decreased in size! WHAT???? Yes mam! I’m actually starting to think caster oil is a cure all. Just saying.

Well, it’s time for a cup of hot tea. So, enjoy your night.

Love you more than chocolate,

Shannon

My journey to changing my lifestyle

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Good morning sunshine. Our topic for today is changing my toxic lifestyle to something that is healthier. You may roll your eyes and even chuckle, but yea it’s real. I share some things, like my love of my bees and the lovely nectar that they give us, and even some glimpses of myself and the grands harvesting herbs or goldenrod. But it is so much more than that.

Let’s be real. I am over weight and my health is cruddy because of that. I am way over due for a complete overhaul. I was very fit until I was about 30ish. I didn’t realize at the time that I was struggling with anxiety and even depression. Yep, ME! That is a story for another time. I snacked my way through any unpleasant situation, struggle, etc. But my absolute downfall, like over the edge of anything I have ever thought I would be, was when daddy died. I literally ATE my way through grief. I don’t recommend that by the way. So here I am, almost 58 years old (like in 14 days) and some days I feel like I am 100. So what to do?? Well, I can tell you what I am doing. It is not fast, it is not easy, but it is rewarding and I am feeling better than I have in several years.

When I decided that things had to change I sat down and thought about what my life was like growing up. I could eat anything I wanted, I always had energy, and felt great. For me, here is what I discovered. I mostly ate homecooked meals, eating out was a treat that was not very often. I did not drink sodas, even though my parents owned a gas station. We did not keep anything at home except milk, juice, tea. Maybe once a week I was allowed a soda…A SODA. Sweets were homemade. If I got something from the store it was only occasionally. I spent most of my time outside. Watching TV was something that we did maybe an hour at night. Most of the time we played Monopoly (which my dad always cheated) or daddy and I would shoot pool. Side note: He moved out our living room furniture and put in a pool table that he bought from a pool hall. Along with 2 old fashioned barber chairs. My mom HATED IT. But we loved it. I realized that I have been doing everything backwards! My home was filled with processed foods, my beloved Dr Pepper, and we ate out or ran through a drive through frequently. I am in front of a screen, whether it is a computer, my phone, a tablet, or a tv, more than I am outside enjoying what God has given us.

I also realized that growing up if I felt “bad” that we did not run to the dr for a quick fix. ND, when we did go to the doctor, Dr Christian would not just automatically write a prescription or pop me with a shot (I think he and Margaret tried really hard not to give me a shot because it took both of them and mom to hold me down) but often times we tried something as simple as a bath to bring down a fever or gargle with salt water for a sore throat. Another side note: Margaret Dodd HAD to love me because I was a nightmare if I did have to get a shot. I have a very vivid memory of her chasing me down the hall saying “Shannon Fleming get back in here. ” but she always loved on me afterwards and told me what a big girl I was.

So for me, here is where I have began. I have cleaned out the cabinets of most everything that is processed. I have limited the drinks in our home to tea, coffee, water, milk, and juice. Well, except on ballgame days and I have a glass bottle Dr Pepper and this season I really need more than one. I love to cook and I am trying to do most of our meals at home. Cooking is so much easier when you plan it out. Fast food is killing me. I took a long hard look at what use to be in some of the products and places I loved to eat growing up. They are VERY DIFFERENT these days.

I have cleaned out our home “medicine closet” and traded most over the counter products for natural replacements. I rely on teas, oils, tinctures, etc for my daily healthcare needs and WOW. I truly believe that God gave us everything we need for a healthy body, healthy life and we have just not passed on how to use it.

The journey to a healthier lifestyle started about a year ago. It is slow, it is a process, and it is worth it. I didn’t get this way over night and it wont get fixed over night. So, if you want to follow along, please do.

Love you more than chocolate,

Shannon

Jimmy was a friend to all of us

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Well, I guess it is time to jump on the “when I saw Jimmy Buffet” band wagon. Let me start by saying, I loved Jimmy Buffet and his music, and still do. He is the king of summer, beaches, margaritas, and well just “loving life” music. There are so many stories that could include long rides down to the gulf with the music loud, and possibly a time or two of going around the long lines of traffic on the shoulder of the road because we were too stupid and impatient to wait. I didn’t say I did that, I said POSSIBLY, so don’t tell my mother please.

Who hasn’t had a parrot head hat or flip flops in the sand while singing Hamburger in Paradise? I mean really! If you are even close to my age I know you did, and maybe you still do.

My best Jimmy Buffet memory is shared with Amy Ralston Poole, Carol Holcomb, and Susan DeArmond. It was 1995 and the four of us took a week long girls trip to New York City! That week was filled with great food, even better company, and a week of adventure. From the moment we landed at La Guardia we started looking for “famous people”. Carol would point and say “Hey, are they famous?” We got on the subway and it was Susan’s turn, “Hey, I think that is somebody famous.” We had gone to Battery Park, Macy’s, Canal Street, and Little Italy looking for ANYONE WHO WAS FAMOUS. But when you least expect it fun things happen. We were sitting in Hard Rock Cafe in the middle of glorious chaos and loud music when in walks this guy in a long black coat and Amy sort of whispers (but not really), “Yall!! I really think that really is someone famous!” He came and sat right next to our table and Have Mercy it was JIMMY!! We snuck a couple of photos and tried to be inconspicuous about it but if you know us personally then you know that wasn’t the case. The giggles were loud and the moving of the chairs had to be a dead give a way. As we got up to leave so did he. He helped me on with my coat, because we all know Jimmy Buffet was a good southern gentleman, and asked where we were from as if our deep southern drawl didn’t give us away. We shared all the details we could in that short walk and ss he got in his car he said “Have a great trip.” We did have a great trip. One that I think we need to repeat before we all need walkers and orthopedic shoes.

I have to admit I have been singing “Come Monday” and “Cheese Burger In Paradise” a lot more lately. Just ask Hannah! She caught me belting “Come Monday”. It makes me smile.

Love You More Than Chocolate,

Shannon

Family

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I have the most wonderful memories of growing up surrounded by family. There was not an afternoon, a Saturday, or especially a Sunday afternoon that family didnt just drop by for a visit. Everyone loved to come by mawmaw’s for a “little bit” and us kids would run and scream, play hide and seek, climb trees (I usually got a whipping for this one, or at least a good talking to), and just enjoy each others company while the grown ups talked. There were days that MawMaw and I would load up some goodies and drop by Aunt Mamie’s or run over to Flonell’s for a chat and a glass of tea. What happend to all of that?

Today I went to pay my respects and honor a life well lived and most of my extended family was there. Cousins I have not seen since the last funeral and for a few it has been even longer. I love these people and the memories we share. It makes me sad that my kids and grandkids dont know this amazing extended family they have. These folks are some of the best cooks, the best huggers, and best story tellers you will ever be around. I especially like the cooking part!

We need to do more visiting. We need to allow ourselves time to enjoy our loved ones and stop running like crazy from sun up to sun down. Why are we so stinking busy anyway? What does all the eating in the car, running from one activity to another get us? Most of the time a stress headache. I am as guilty as anyone else to make excuses or not make time for the most important things and people. If we dont make time now we are going to miss it.

I vote we reinstate afternoon visits. They dont have to be all day. They dont have to be every day. Maybe Satureday or Sunday afternoon for just an hour. It doesnt have to be complicated. No food needs to be involved. OH MY STARS, Maw Maw would have a hissy if she knew I wrote that last sentence. There was alwasy something tasty on her table. She loved, loving on people. She loved sitting on the porch with a glass of sweet tea and her fly swatter and just enjoying the conversation of whoever stopped in. You can bet that Uncle Floyd and Uncle William stopped in at least once a week to visit with their baby sister. Neices and nephews a plenty would pull up and some would just stop in the road and chat a while. No one every considered that they might need to call first, because they didn’t, or that we wouldnt be home, because we were, I miss it! I miss the 30 minute drop in. I miss seeing my family more than once in a while. SOOOOO, come on cousines, friends, aquaintances, church family. If you want to drop in please feel free. I have some great rockers on the front porch. We can sit a spell and I will do my best to keep a pitcher of sweet tea on the ready.

I Love You More Than Chocolate

Shannon

Our fake family heirloom

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It is a story that makes my mother giggle now. She use to just huff at the thought of it but I have always loved it.

There was a beautiful gold ring with an amethyst stone and tiny pearls that sat snuggled tight in my mom’s jewelry box. She is not a woman that LOVES jewelry like I do. But daddy loved to buy her pretty things.

I loved playing in her jewelry box growing up and loved that ring! She never allowed me to wear it because the little pearls were so delicate and she didn’t want me knock any out. But she woul let me sit in the floor and try on everything and to me that ring was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I can’t really remember the first time I heard the story, but I do know that when it came up Mawmaw would shake her head, mom would huff a little, and then they would all laugh at how my daddy had kept it secret for such a long time.

So, here it goes and I hope I get it right…

Sometime before mom and dad got married he had given her his “grandmothers ring”. She cherished it and thought it was so special that he had given it to her. They got married and a couple of years later had me. A few years after that was when the illusion came to an end. Mawmaw and Mom were working at mawmaws, probably canning or just cooking a huge dinner, because that what they did. Mom mentioned how she had always loved daddy’s grandmother’s ring and would one day pass it on to me (or something like that). Mawmaw looked at her questioningly and said, “He doesn’t have his grandmother’s ring.” They both just stood there, starring at each other wondering WHAT IN THE WORLD the other was talking about. In walks my daddy. BLESS is heart!!! He had no idea what he was walking in to. I can just see both of those women standing there, hands on hips, THAT look on their faces. You know the look I am talking about.

I am not sure which one called him out, probably mawmaw, but he was caught! No way to get out of it. He had to come clean. I can just picture that sly grin on his face and his little chuckle. So he confessed…the truth of that beautiful family heirloomw was…he had been shooting pool and WON the ring. He knew mom would never have accepted it if she had known he won it gambling so he told her it was his grandmothers. He was slick! After the shock and I am sure the lecture he got, mom kept the “fake family heirloom” and finally passed it on to me. Ofcourse she waited until she tought I was old enough to take care of it (I was over 40). The “fake family heirloom” has now become an actual family heirloom to be passed down, admired, share the story of my pool shark daddy, and enjoyed.

Love you more than chocolate,

Shannon